Funny things I've heard this week

Funny things I've heard this week:

The Simpsons:
Homer: How could her father leave his own daughter? and when I say how, I mean. . . by what means? and can anybody do it?

Futurama:
Fry: Don't worry. People used to think I was stupid, but I proved them.

Dad (after trimming the trees): I think there's a branch in that tree.

Grandma: Esther come here. I want to show you my hernia. (She also made me touch it). Funny and completely gross at the same time.

Josh (while we were watching Beauty and the Geek during the elimination round). The question was: Name three actors who played James Bond and the titles of the movies they were in. Josh said: Um. . Sean Connary, Pierce Brosnan.
Me: But what movies were they in?
Josh: Pierce Brosnan was in Mrs. Doubtfire.
Me (laughing): The question was What James Bond movie were they in?!

I love when funny stuff happens!