I am beginning to hate my job. I don't hate it, so much as I am ready for a change and beginning to feel trapped, claustrophobic, and stunted in my growth. I didn't realize how difficult it was for me to work as a Social Worker in the field of addiction until I went on Maternity leave. When I took a three month break it was as if I have emerged from the darkness and now I want that light back. Darkness I didn't even know I was in. The light was so dim, but my eyes had adjusted and I had become accustomed to working in these conditions.
The conditions at my work, with my co-workers and boss(es) is not horrible. It's actually quite pleasant. I like the people I work with. I'm going to start supervising Masters of Social Work students (considering the funk I'm in maybe not the best idea this second!). The benefits are relatively good considering. The pay not so great, but what do you do?
I think I'm getting sick of working with this population. Addicts. WARNING: I'm going to go on a little rampage now.
Okay. . . here I go:
I'm sick of the lying. I'm sick of their relapsing. I'm sick of them taking advantage of the system and their entitlement. I'm sick of babysitting. I'm burned out.
Did you know the burn-out rate for a therapist in the field of addiction is three years? I've worked here four-and-a-half years. I'm way past that now.
Now I'm not saying that all addicts are terrible people. And I do believe that addiction is a disease that people struggle with. I just wish it wasn't accompanied with the lying and manipulation I've been dealing with lately.
I would be fine if an addict could simply relapse and come in and say "I relapsed. I'm struggling. But here is my action plan of how I'm going to get back on track." This has only happened with my clients a few times. Usually the opposite is true: they avoid telling me. Make up excuses why they can't go place a urine sample. And evade the truth.
I was handling this perfectly fine until I went on maternity leave. But living three months with people who didn't have an addiction to drugs or alcohol made me remember what life was like before I became a social worker. I think I must've been happier. I know there is all this "intrinsic value" I have experienced as a social worker, helping people. I enjoy helping people change their lives for the better. But living in a world where I didn't have to do that was wonderful. And I'm beginning to question my decision to become a Social Worker.
Problem is, what would I do instead? What could I do that would be helping people?. . . PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO CHANGE AND BE HELPED and improve their lives. ALL OF THEM, not just a few of them. Something that isn't the same thing every day. Because I like the fact that there are new adventures here every day. I would get bored with the same-old, same-old. Maybe something that didn't involve as much paperwork?
My fantasy job right now is selling furniture at a furniture store in Salt Lake. Unfortunately, my father works for the store I would want to work for (I'm fiercely loyal to this store because my dad works there) but they wouldn't hire me (if they wanted to hire me) because my dad works there.
I think I'm going through a mini-mid-life crisis right now. And it's not a good time to quit any job because the economy is so bad!
Any ideas?
ThreEwells down to Two Ewells. Therapist, social worker, book-lover, aspiring author and aspiring bookstore owner, avid indie book store visitor and mom of one perfect child who owns my heart.
6 comments:
Hmmm that IS quite the mid-life predicament. I understand what you mean about the light and darkness...that's hard. But the light is really You, for all the people you help who are totally lost. Bree has these frustrations too, cuz she works with at-risk teens every day and is under paid but loves helping people! I loved working with seniors...you could always go into marketing or medicare stuff and work with the nice elderly. :)
Our neighbor is a social worker and works with troubled families at Valley Mental Health. I'll ask if she has any openings.
Selling furniture? Really? You'd be good at it, but...interesting.
They really won't hire you because of dad? That is kinda lame if you ask me. I really don't think dad would care if you found a job at a competitor though.
Abe - I interviewed there once when I was about 22 years old. The guy said he wanted to hire me, but then found out that Dad also technically works in the "sales" department and they have a rule that family members can't work in the same department.
I go through periods where I fantasize about being a Starbucks barista. I know I wouldn't go home fretting about my clients, and I couldn't possibly get any more frustration working with the coffee drinking public than I do at from my clients. Plus, health care and delicious beverages.
You work with an incredibly tough population. I do foster care prevention, so we get some addicts. The lying and manipulation is so hard to deal with. 4 1/2 years is a long time in that field. I've been here for 2 years and am starting to seriously think about moving on. Good luck with your decision!
Hey- thanks for stopping by my (boring) blog. I hope your SIL hooks you up with free goodies from that divine bakery. I've thought of it ever since I left there...
Your baby's cheeks are so darn cute! Wowee.
And- I graduated in psychology and was having the same dilemma- working with other people's problems every day. I don't know that I could have dealt with it- so kudos for the 4+ years that you have. I ended up working for my FIL at a flooring store- because they paid more. But during my last semester, one professor made me write what I wanted to do in the field with my major. I devised a plan that went something like this:
A person is sentenced to rehab for 30 days, or they are sentenced to an exercise program (training for half marathons, weight lifting, etc.) for 30 days. Of course they would choose the exercise, and it just seems that with their addictive behaviors, they need to become addicted to something more beneficial to themselves, like exercising. Maybe they could put the drugs and alcohol behind them with a more natural high?
Later, I actually read about a person who did this in Salt Lake and was working wonders. Liking to exercise would be a plus- but my coach in high school never ran with us- he just told us how far to run.
Maybe this can get some ideas flowing. Or I knew someone who checked on adoptive families to make sure the kids were happy and healthy... she said it was an awesome job.
(Novel- sorry!)
With that MSW shouldn't you be able to do a lot of different thing? Work at a hospital helping people in crisis, adoption, aging services, disability services etc?? With a Masters and 4 years of experience I bet you could teach a Social Work course or two through SLCC or the U of U.
My husband is a probation officer, he gets lied to so much he just automatically assumes people are lying to him all the time now. Having teenagers will be interesting :(
Post a Comment